I can’t believe I forgot about this one. Silly me.
Those in my family who care about the direction my life is taking are aware of my writing aspirations.
A little while back my uncle and I were discussing my future plans. Him being very aware that I am a broke college student was thinking of a way for me to make money, and do what I love.
” Wait a second, ” he said … ” My girlfriend’s brother is a publisher.” I lit up immediately. ” Tell me more,” I said….
” Well, how do you feel about writing, uh, distasteful pieces?”
” You mean like erotica?”
“Uhm, pretty much.”
My parents who are sitting behind us, are chuckling ever so slightly. It may be nerves, or that they find this hilarious. I can feel myself getting a little nervous. I have no ability to publish anything remotely Fifty Shades– eque. Not because it is good writing, but because I have no imagination. Even if I did, I would not want such an ability to be known to my family members.
” Let me get this straight, ” I make some sort of hand movement in my uncle’s direction.” Your girlfriend’s brother only publishes literary porn, and you want me to write some?”
” Well, yes, it pays well. Hell I tried it myself, simply couldn’t do it.”
” We share that defect uncle.”
” Does that mean you won’t do it?”
” I may say if I could I would, but I probably wouldn’t. I am going to have to pass.”
” Understandable. But you should try,” he laughs. ” Quite the interesting way to make money.”
I went home that night and attempted this seemingly impossible endeavor. It was impossible. I could not do it. Fiction, which I don’t do, mixed with dirty talk… just didn’t work out quite well for me.
Although having some cash around would be nice.
At least my uncle and I now have something to laugh about.
And to my parents, well I told them I am just not experienced enough for such writing 😉
The Down Low 
No imagination? I thought the key to erotica was doing Rorschach tests all day. In fact, where do I sign up?
Really? That’s the secret? Hmm, I will look into it on the interwebs. Can I join you ?
You can use my stuff under your name. Apparently, your family is way more flexible than mine 😉
Deal.
If you weren’t kidding, I’m on your Twitter.
My older brother once suggested I finance my college career by being a tattoo artist.
Well that seems like a viable “meantime” career option.
Hmmmm… perhaps I should continue writing things like ’50 Shades of Brawny’…….
I hear there is some sweet dough in it.